recoverymonologue.com

My name is L.J. I came into program February 25, 2005. My sobriety date is on October 03, 2005. I came into recovery after an unmanageable life of 30 years of acting out. Like most addicts I lived in denial of my addiction until it almost cost me my life. I, one of the fortunate ones had an epiphany while having a dream and woke up and acknowledged to myself that I was a sex addict. The following day I found the rooms of SAA. Through my journey I have come to experience a new outlook on life, family, and my spirituality. My hope for all is that this blog provides a forum, 24/7/365, for other addicts to experience the same serenity I have been blessed with. God bless you all on your journeys.
 
Update: 04/04/10, it is with great honor and humbleness that I share with you today. Today is my 4.5 year mark. To me it's not the length of time that matters as much as the depth of my sobriety on a daily basis. I, like you are given a daily reprieve from this disease and its all according to my daily spiritual condition. I work hard to keep the communication with my HP open and flowing as if I was chatting with my best friend. Its an on going dialogue. I am forever grateful to you, Papa, for the guidance, love and support you show me. It is with your words that I set my feet on this path of spiritual wisdom. Bless you for each moment you share with me. Your humble servant.
 
Update: 05/01/10, It's our two year anniversary of the blog. I couldn't be happier with the results. It is slowly speading throughout the country. My hope is that we get so busy that there are over 100 shares per topic. I know this is a hope, but with any great dream - hope follows, then miracles happen. God bless you all who have shared and made this site a place of serenity to others.

Comments (7):

  • Ally @ 07/07/2009 ( 12:52:21 PM )
    This blog is a gift. I don't know if you know the service you have done, for suffering addicts. At least for this suffering addict.

    Who am I? I too am a common human with the common affliction of addiction. If it gets me out of the present then I will use it to numb out, sex, intrigue, food, alcohol, drugs and even my work life.

    I am grateful to this blog to keep me in the present.
  • randi k @ 07/21/2009 ( 7:44:01 AM )
    I love seeing websites that includes sex and addiction in the same sentance! Recently, sex addiction has become be a more accepted term of a very real and dangerous addiction. Men and women, both are affected by sex addiction. It is a powerful and can lead to a total self-destruction of your mind, body and soul. As a mother and a wife, I pray to my higher power for strength, willingness and wisdom. I am at that point in my recovery where I feel as if I can sponsor other woman, who are struggeling with sex addiction, and are either afraid to speak their truth or they are scared and embarrased to come out as a sex addict. It is such a great feeling to see other woman come into our all woman's meetings. Their faces light up when they hear other women's hope, recovery and stories, thus creating an instant connection. A womans recovery may seem difficult, because of the shame, guilt and pain. It is also gratifying and challenging. Thank you women for opening up your hearts and your hands and continue the life long recovery process of sex addiction. As women, we respect and hold our friendships very close to our hearts.
  • janine @ 07/21/2009 ( 9:21:15 PM )
    as a child of the 60's i grew up with this phrase--"sister-hood is powerfull"--it is still holding true for me today--i gave my first step a couple of weeks ago and feel very different as a result--calmer, more committed to my program--i would not have had the courage to do this step if it hadn't been for all the other firsts steps that i listened to and the courage and inspiration they gave me--but i especially could not have done it without the presence of my fellow saa sisters and my sponsor that were there to support me in this process--it is my fervent hope that more women come "out of the shadows" (gratitude to patrick carnes, always!) and find their way into the rooms of saa (rooms of light!)--it is also my hope that women come into these rooms to give the female perspective to this addiction--i am so grateful to the men i have met in this program--they were the first people i encountered in the rooms--they were and still are my brothers--never was i ever made to feel uncomfortable by any of the men in the program--i am often asked if i am ever triggered in the rooms--well, i am triggered EVERYWHERE!!!! but in the rooms i am always safe--so thank you to the women and to the men--male or female, gay, straight, transgendered,bi--this disease does not give a rat's ass! it can get you--it is the steps, the program and the loving PEOPLE of saa that are giving me the strength to heal--all blessings to the people of this program and to those still suffering outside of the rooms--janine
  • John K @ 02/02/2010 ( 3:16:52 PM )
    I had to look at this today for I was drawn to it in the same way I was drawn to acting out, I was compelled. This is a healthy compulsion however for I can better understand my own struggle with this cunning baffling powerful and deadly disease. Today I mark my 50th day sober. My birthday is tomorrow and sobriety is the greatest gift I could have ever asked for.

    Thanks for reading,

    God love you.
  • Marty @ 04/18/2010 ( 5:06:37 AM )
    Thanks for the gift of this blog, to LJ for creating it and to those who contribute. Tossing and turning this morning with thoughts of "taking a little break" from my over 60 days of sobriety, you all remind me of how precious peace is. I am experiencing being "stuck" as Gorski calls it. I am sober but recovery carries in it the seeds for relapse. I am choosing to feel the pain, the Real life my addiction is supposed to anesthetize me from. I cannot stand that psychic pain without new tools besides the "solution I had been using that, itself, became the cause of more problems." So I reach out to you brothers and sisters and find the solidarity that will be God's power when my defects/buttons are just so ready to trigger if not fully acting out. a response that will make the pain worse and cut me off from peace. Thanks for reading.
  • Marvin @ 04/26/2010 ( 2:33:46 PM )
    This website has been instrumental in my recovery and helping me stay sober.
    Thank you G-d for putting LJ in my path and thank you LJ for the guidance and wisdom you provide on this website.
    G-d bless you.
  • Eric @ 08/21/2010 ( 6:26:42 PM )
    I am so new 3 weeks in and 5 days not acting out. I am in so much pain and feel like something wants to jump out from inside my chest, and my mind is playing ticks on me. I have used this site twice in the last week to get me thru these evenings. Thank you for being here, your words here are as if you just said them to me. thank you for your experience, knowledge, and prayers.
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