recoverymonologue.com

Keep Coming Back

Posted 10/12/2009 @ 7:03:34 am by recoverymonologue.com

I was at a meeting recently where the topic was, "Keep Coming Back." I really enjoyed the meeting and it allowed me time to reflex as to why I keep coming back, week after week. The first reason is the sense of belonging...In all of my life I was looking to fit in...I felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole world, that of course was my addiction's conversation to me. Today, I know the truth...I have a disease and there is a place where I am with other square pegs, but we fit into square holes and it fits perfectly. I'm understood, I'm supported and I'm loved. The second reason I keep coming back is because of the enormous sense positive energy I feel when I'm in the rooms. If I was feeling down for whatever reason, when I leave the meetings I feel energized with a positive charge for life. It's my time to recharge my psyche batteries...so off to a meeting I go. When I've missed meetings in the week...I feel the difference. Recovery has become a part of my life that I choose not to be without. The last reason I love coming to meetings is the for the companionship of my fellows. The friendships that have been created due to my ability to be a friend has been overwhelming with joy. The people in my life are REAL. Their love for me is REAL. And the respect I have for them is immense. Today because I keep coming back I have the gifts of relationships and I thank my higher power for these and all the other miracles that keep happening to me because of this program. Today, I am a whole person who feels and thinks with emotions and lives each day with a zest for life. Thank you Papa.

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Comments (15):

  • Ted N @ 10/12/2009 ( 11:09:53 PM )
    Keep Coming Back – Why do I keep coming back? Because quite simply this fellowship has saved my life! Not changed my life – Saved my life. When I got here I was in recovery for drugs and alcohol but I could not stop acting out. The problem is that if I act out enough I will either put myself in such dangerous situations that I will put myself in jeopardy, lose everything that I have, or I will find myself wanting to use drugs again which will spiral my life completely out of control as fast as possible which could eventually kill me. So, I keep coming back. I need to be reminded about who I am and why I am doing what I am doing. And yes, along the way I have the fellowship of the others in the program. I have the help of my sponsor. I have the ability to hear the shares in the rooms that can help me. Plus I can work my steps which has been an amazing process of transformation through which I discovered my relationship with my Higher Power. Without my Higher Power I would not be here today and would not have what I have today. And I keep coming back because I need to stay humble and grateful and remember that left to my own devices I will end up in addiction. That I need the help of others to stay in recovery and to stay sober. I need this program. So as long as I am here and it is here, I will keep coming back.
  • Ally @ 10/13/2009 ( 8:45:53 AM )
    Keep coming back. I have to keep coming back to stay sober. PERIOD, if I do not go to meetings all the tools that are so freely imparted to me will just slip by the wayside and my addict will find a reason, a justification even a sense of entitlement to act out.

    Believe it or not I can sometimes forget I am an addict with a deadly disease and I need the meetings to remind me to be my daily dose of medication to fight this demon of sex addiction.

    I love the fellowship and the relationships I have formed but I Keep Coming Back to stay sober, just one day at a time.

  • Scott @ 10/14/2009 ( 3:43:34 AM )
    Consistency is a key component to recovery, no question about it. For me, it means sticking to a plan of sobriety that moves from one day to the next, realizing that I cannot fully control my thoughts or perhaps even my actions, but I recognize how much can be accomplished by turning it all over t God. With that level of peace and compassion working through and for me, I can do it.

    It was suggested to me recently that cultivating good habits or behaviors requires the same level of commitment that the addict has given to the addiction in terms of following certain routines. It is fascinating to ponder such a reality. I think the most important thing to do is step up, acknowledge my own shortcomings and inability to tackle it alone and go forward with a clear focus on doing what is best for my health in every way possible.
  • Anon @ 10/14/2009 ( 6:25:48 AM )
    Like I said at that meeting "I have no where else to go". While the meetings are important, it is the contacts I make at the meetings and the communication with those contacts outside the meetings where I get most feedback. Remember the important part; I would not have those contacts if I didn't go to the meetings!
  • Marvin @ 10/14/2009 ( 3:40:02 PM )
    A recent share from a member consisted of complaints that attending meetings is an inconvenience and interferes with their schedule.
    I was in shock. After all, how else do we learn to use the tools SAA offers us? How do we find a sponsor? How do we realize we're not alone in our struggle? How can we meet friends that will support us & teach us how to give support? How else can we recover if not by attending meetings?!
    It's been my refuge for the past 9 months. Without SAA meetings I couldn't have met the dear brothers & sisters who have lifted my spirits, given me guidance & helped me find God. SAA meetings saved my life. How else if not by continuing to come back?
  • Ericka @ 10/14/2009 ( 5:40:15 PM )
    great post/topic - thank you
    "Keep Coming Back" used to be a slogan I heard that reassured me that it would get better, that I was important, and that persistence and progress were key.

    Today, "Keep Coming Back" is a sort of a broad plan for my future. As the difficulty of staying out of my inner circle decreased I could see that my sexual acting out was just a symptom of a very complicated, twisted, spiritual sickness/ vacuum of sorts. I still live with that sickness - aka all the character defects that supported and came from my addiction. Those character defects keep me from my goals and my spiritual connection just as sure as my acting out did! So I keep coming back because the program has been working for me. Getting humble with other addicts has been working for me.

    There is still so much to unravel and I have the utmost faith that if I just keep showing up, working the steps, and talking to my sponsor there will be less and less and less of my "mechanisms" in the way of the meaningful life I believe has been there for me this whole time.

    What makes me so sure? I am a few 24 hours since the last time I acted out and I am constantly closer to living in reality, living without fear, having meaningful relationships with others, attaining spiritual and worldly life-goals ... yep - its really working.

    Seven years after my first 12 step meeting I am finally starting to find real personal meaning in some of the principles, slogans, stories. I have a lot of "a ha" moments these days when I finally get something like : The 7th step doesn't defer to me as God ( I don't recognize my defects and just stop on my own).

    I can only imagine how open my eyes will be in another seven!

    Keep Coming Back everyone ( I like to add a "get out of the way" in there too)
  • BrokenManLiftedUp @ 10/20/2009 ( 9:23:17 PM )
    Why do i keep coming back? Sometimes i tell myself it would be much easier to get a divorce and live with my addict in all its glory - but then rationalization and realization set in, and I come to terms with the fact that I am an addict - and if i give in, the addict wins. Period. End of story.
  • Randi K @ 10/27/2009 ( 1:29:08 PM )
    I love the topic of KEEP COMING BACK!!! It is a phrase that is so commonly used in every 12 step program. It has so many different meanings for a 3 word phrase that has soooo many meanings. My personal interpretation of KEEP COMING BACK, gives me a sense of comfort and belonging. It says "you are in the right place" and you belong here. It also, expresses that it is o.k., no matter what the circumstances are, you can KEEP COMING BACK. It is o.k. to make mistakes or NEED a do-over! My opinion is that people who stay sober are the one's that show up for meetings! So, I keep coming back to help in my recovery journey.....Meetings have saved my life!
  • nick @ 10/30/2009 ( 8:20:35 PM )
    Keep coming back. I am so grateful for the blog, which allows me to keep coming back (even after a long absence!) when I can't get to a meeting. The comments posted here continue to inspire me and make me grateful for this program and the extraordinary people who are a part of it.
  • Mike @ 11/01/2009 ( 8:22:59 PM )
    "Keep coming back" means keep coming back, you are always welcome even if you want to take a vacation from your sobriety. "Keep coming back" means never having to say you're sorry because it is not about the shame of falling off the damn horse, it is about getting back on. "Keep coming back" is a comforting beckoning from God welcoming me back to his church. I feel better spiritually after a meeting as the words of my higher power flow out of the mouths of the meeting's participants. Will I listen? Maybe. But if I don't, then I can "keep coming back." Maybe I'll hear the message the next time. I also keep coming back to see my friends. Not just any friends but those in recovery. My family. The family I can keep coming back to when I need to heal.
  • Anon @ 11/12/2009 ( 8:48:46 PM )
    I was at a meeting recently where we were talking about the steps, meetings and fellowship. I was of the understanding that the steps were the most important aspect of sobriety. A fellow proposed a concept that meetings should really be considered a step; he called them "step zero". His reasoning, and one that makes sense to me, is that without meetings one would never get to the steps and fellowship.

    Being a sensible chap, I have taken to agreeing with him on this. Without first going to meetings there would be no recovery. Call them step zero or anything you want, they are crucial to recovery and recovery can not begin without them.

    My conclusion; if you don't keep coming back you will never get the oportunity to do the steps, the program or the fellowship. I hope to see you at the next meeting as I know I will keep coming back!
  • Kreg @ 11/29/2009 ( 12:17:48 AM )
    "Keep Coming Back" are probably my 3 favorite words. Who would have ever thought that those individual words strung together could be so powerful.
    Every time this topic comes up I remember back to when I first entered into recovery. After my first meeting I received a phone call from Mark, who although was not at the meeting, called to check up on me and see how I was doing. I was broken, that's how I was. However, he said are you coming back?? Had he never called I may never have. The next night he said those 3 magical words "Keep Coming Back". Well, that was 1 year ago this week (Thanksgiving week). I am now 1 year in recovery and 8 months sober. WOW... All because I kept coming back.. I will keep coming back because I'm an addict and if I don't my addict will win. So, I say this to all my fellow Brothers and Sister, "KEEP COMING BACK".
  • Mr B @ 12/02/2009 ( 2:49:11 PM )
    I sit here today with a voice in my head giving me every excuse to skip a mtg I have planned to attend. Work, a tough session w/my therapist, some fatigue, a stuffy nose...they all feel like excuses my addict want to give in to. I know I have to be gentle with myself in recovery, but I also know there is a self-destructive piece of me that is content to avoid things that are good and optimistic. So I will suck it up and drag myself to a meeting. Then, as I always do, I will feel better after. I will wonder why I ever thought to skip the meeting, and I'll plan the next one to attend.
  • Ted N @ 12/18/2009 ( 10:11:18 PM )
    Once again I just chose the month at random and this is the topic that showed up for me. And as always it is a good one. In the beginning that was all that I had going for me was that I kept coming back. And thankfully because I kept coming back, little by little the program started to sink in and, little by little my acting out subsided and I started to get this thing called recovery in S.A.A. And I started to get this thing called a relationship with a Higher Power and with a sponsor and with myself. I started to take care of myself and to have a better life and to have hope for a better future. I don’t know what the future is going to be, but I know it is going to be great. Because I know as long as I take care of myself and work my program and keep my relationship with my Higher Power where it needs to be it will all take care of itself. And all of this is because I kept coming back. And I will keep coming back because that is what I need to do as part of my program.
  • Phil @ 07/28/2010 ( 3:55:43 PM )
    "Keep coming back" can have many meanings. It used to mean "keep coming back for acting out and acting stupid". After recovery started, it showed us that to keep going to meetings gave us a vision of what life in recovery is compared to addiction. So often, even in recovery, our lives outside of the meetings are full of challenges, pain and unhappiness. When we go to a meeting, we remember that we are not unique, that we are not alone, that perhaps our lives are not yet what they should be. It reminds us that the goal is to achieve the promises - without the constant reminders that the future CAN be different, and that the setbacks in our daily lives are only potholes in our journey. Without the meetings, we'd forget that misery and pain are not what our program promises.

    Now "Keep coming back" is a weekly reminder that we are on a journey to peace and self-respect.
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