Comments (14):

• Ally @ 05/27/2008 ( 3:46:18 PM )
  "Life not life's terms" I could not even tell you what that means to me yet. I know that a year ago I did not have a life, I barely had an existence. Seven months ago when I first came to these rooms I knew I wanted to get my life back but I did not know then that it is not really "MY" life, I barely know now that "MY" life is not my own. I have FINALLY submitted to true and utter powerlessness and in doing that I have turned "my life" over.
  
  Just Sunday only two days ago I let go of something significant that kept "my life" burried in addiction, so my life is a little lighter. If I did not have the willingness to finally let go I would not have even the startings of a life.
  
  So life on life's terms, I have no idea what that means yet, but I do know is this morning I turned my life over to my higher power and I have not acted out today and I even feel a little bit happy. If life on life's term means that I will get to experience happiness and joy again I will turn it all over again tomorrow morning. One of the fellows in our rooms shares often that his higher power has given him a reprieve just for today. Today I embraced that reprieve and enjoyed the freedom of feeling unburdened. If that too is life on life's terms. Count me in!
• Ted @ 05/30/2008 ( 9:47:12 AM )
  WOW! Why do these topics always apply to me? Is this my higher power speaking to me? Life on Life's Terms. That is what I can do today. I had life slung at me yesterday like a mud pie in the face and I took it with dignity and grace. 3 years ago I would have reacted like a banshee, even 1 year ago I would have reacted like a maniac, yesterday I reacted like an adult in recovery. WHY? Because my higher power has take care of me. Because life came at me and I was able to take it on it's terms and I am going to be ok. Because I am clear today, I have serenity today, I have peace today, I was able to see this coming today, I was able to take care of myself today, I was able to pray today, and I was able to ask for help today, and as a result, I was able to take it on life's terms today. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I know I will be ok. WHY? Because as long as I continue to do what I am doing today, I will still be ok. Pray, work the steps, call my sponsor, go to meetings, be honest, and don't out. Without this program I would not be able to do this today and I would not be able to live life on life's terms today. Thank you and thank you for letting me share!
• Rob @ 06/13/2008 ( 11:47:27 AM )
  Living on life's terms. Means being honest with myself and proud of myself. Honesty includes setting boundaries that I actually keep. Every time, I think this is going to be the last time I do a bad behavior, I break my own boundaries and not get closer to recovery. I am not being honest with myself on my recovery. So far the boundaries I am breaking are small. Addict thinking. Eventually I'll be lead back to the worse parts of my addiction. I need the meetings,the talks with my sponsor, the daily talks with other members of the group to stay sober. I need to calm down and take one day at a calm. Relax and enjoy being alive. At least I am. Be happy.
• John K @ 08/16/2009 ( 10:14:06 AM )
  Living life on life's terms is a life sentence, no pun intended. I have said even while in my addiction and deceiving myself, my loved ones and my group, I could not deceive my higher power. My Lord is a good God, who despite my imperfections, loves me, forgives me and now strenghtens me. I have also said that addiction is a choice. I made the choices to act out, to lie, and to decieve. Today, and just for today I choose to surrender my free will and freedom to the only one I would choose to give it to and that is my higher power. Because it is just for today, I must renew this commitment daily.
  
  thanks for reading,
  
  God love you.
• Ted N @ 08/22/2009 ( 9:51:30 PM )
  Living life on life’s terms is something that I can today because of this program. Prior to coming into this program I did not live life on life’s terms. I did not even know what that meant. What I did know was that I tried to control life. I tried to control everything: my job, my relationships with other people, how I felt, etc…. What I know today is that I cannot control anything. And I know today that whatever comes my way is whatever comes my way. I can then make decisions on how to handle what comes my way. I can handle life like an addict and isolate and not do anything and let things pile up, or I can handle life like a person in recovery, like an adult, and take care of myself, take care of my responsibilities, take care of the emergencies, and take care of the bumps in the road that come along. Living life on life’s terms also means realizing that things aren’t what you wish they were and having to be ok with it. Not trying to make it something that it is not. Just letting go and accepting for what it is. Today I can do that, although I need to remind myself from time to time. Living life on life’s terms gives me freedom. I am not a slave to my control. I am free to life “my” life and not have to worry about anyone else’s life or how their life will affect mine because no matter what other people do it does not affect me. Only I can affect me. I can make anything what I chose to. And if I chose to keep things positive then my life will be positive and will continue to move in the right direction regardless of what obstacles are in my path and that is living life on life’s terms.
• Tim B @ 09/27/2009 ( 6:48:26 AM )
  I have read some of the stuff people have written on living life on life’s terms. I do have to say that you don’t have to have an addiction to have a hard time with living life on life’s terms. I am writing this because I really don’t have anyone I can talk to. Yea I am married but talking to my wife is not the answer. I really don’t know what the answer is. When you talk about a higher power I know what that is, however Him and I have had our battles, I have a hard time believing. Most people I have loved in this life have been taken away. You know what is real funny, years ago I went to AA meeting admitted I was an alcoholic just to be able to belong. I don’t even drink or take drugs. There are people that do everything they can not to have to go, me I wanted to, I lived my life like an alcoholic just with out the alcohol. Tell me how weird that is. Well that’s all for now, I think I will write more on this, It might make me feel better getting things off my chest, but I have to get back to work right now, but until next time you all take care.
• Ted N @ 11/03/2009 ( 9:16:59 PM )
  I guess today is about living life on life’s terms. I have been at home for the past two weeks recovery from surgery and at this point I am going stir crazy. I go to the doctor tomorrow and I am really hoping that I get these drains taken out which means I have my freedom again. Today I got hit with a bit of hopelessness because it has been so long and it just started to get to me. I knew this was part of the deal when I began this process, however I did not realize how hard it would be to sit still for 2-3 weeks. I sat still for so long in my active addiction and isolated in my house I cannot stand to do it anymore. I have turned into a very active person and I need to be doing things inside and outside. It keeps me going and vital. This program has given me so much and I have changed how I live my life. So these past two weeks of being idle has been hard because it has been a lot like living in the past. Especially since my mother has been here. But she has been a great help and I know that it is hard for her to be away from her home to be here. I am trying not to despair and I am trying to keep taking everything as it comes. The doctor told me in the beginning that he was impressed with how I took everything on the chin. I want to continue to do that but it is getting harder and harder to each day as long as I feel cooped up in the house unable to drive, unable to take a shower, unable to have my dogs. But, I need to focus on what I do have. I have accomplished a huge feat and this is the tail end of it. I need to be patient because it will be only a couple more weeks and I should be back to the grind working out and eating like I was and I cannot wait. I will try to use the tools that I have to pray and be patient and live life on life’s terms. Higher Power help me get through tonight and these next few days please!
• Rick S @ 11/11/2009 ( 9:00:43 AM )
  A few days ago, I would have had no idea what to write on this topic, simply because I was not living my life on life's terms. I was living life on my terms and doing all the wrong things that come from that approach. Trying to gain control of my addiction by myself. Impossible! The more I sought to control my world the quicker it seemed to spin out of control, and fall further into the addictive cycle. The more I shut myself off from others, the more I find myself in situations where I can not control myself and actually need the help of others to regain manageability. The more I try to "manage" life the more lost I become. Life is not something you "do", it is something you accept. Accept what is placed in your path and deal with it in a healthy manner, as opposed to taking offense and trying to fight in order to get back to your own grand design. This brings peace and serenity as opposed to chaos, anger, and failure.
  
  Life wants me to deal with my addiction now, and as I look around the tools for me to do so are available. So I do what life wants. There is no more fight. There can not be if I want to live life. My way can only bring death.
  
  I am a very active person. I want to exercise, I want to practice my martial arts, I want to play my guitar, I want the love, smile, and touch of my wife. These things will return in time if I address what life has placed in front of me: getting sober. These things will return on life's terms.
• Phil H @ 11/17/2009 ( 5:43:48 AM )
  I started journalling again today and I wrote the following. I came here and this was the first post and it appears to be right place to put it...........
  
  Having completed the work of the first step I am present to the unmanageability of my life and that I cannot achieve happiness by doing it all by myself. I need the assistance of others in this world. I do not want to be a hermit living alone in a cave somewhere. Therefore, the assistance of others is necessary. My Higher Power provides me with what I need to live in this world. Everything happens for a reason. Everything. It is all His work. In each and every moment, where I chose what to do next, there is a result waiting for me. After those moments I am able to look back and I can see what I am being taught. I had to learn that putting my hand in the fire hurts, so I don’t do that any more. I can put my hand near a fire and I can feel the prickle warning me of what is to come, if I choose to continue. I know that I have intuition. There have been many times I have been in a place to choose in a situation and I have felt the prickle of those options. Many times I am not surprised by the result, when I look back and see where my choices have taken me. I know my Higher Power is teaching me how to listen to that intuition. To learn what the prickle means and to make choices that will give me the longstanding happiness I am seeking. Rather than hearing what I want hear I am learning how to listen to what I have always been told.
  
  Thank you for listening
• phil @ 11/28/2009 ( 4:04:39 PM )
  It has been very instructional to realize that reacting to life is not living my life on life's terms. Living MY life requires decisions, based on my own values, conscience and understanding. Simply reacting to life is like programming a robot to do some preset series of actions. Most of my life has been spent reacting to events life has presented to me. It's time for me to live like a man, who can make his own healthy honest and moral choices. It's time to disconnect the robot.
• Ted N @ 12/09/2009 ( 2:09:44 AM )
  For me today it is about living life on life’s terms. And what that means is that I cannot take my will back. I am so consumed with wanting to exercise that today I got on my bike against doctor’s orders. But that was not the right thing to do. Even when I was doing it I felt like I was acting out. How can something so healthy and good for you make me feel like I am acting out? I guess when I know that the doctor told me to wait a week to do it. I was just so frustrated that it has been 7 weeks. But I talked it out with my therapist and he reminded me that I need to stick with my commitment to adhere to the doctor’s orders: that I had made a commitment to do what he said. He is right. It is about commitments and this is living life on life’s terms right now. Aaarrrggghhh. But I am ok. Life has been good to me and it is still good to me. I have nothing to complain about. I had a very successful surgery and I in two or three weeks this will be all behind me. I am an addict and I want it all yesterday. So I need to practice the patience that I have learned to use time and time again. That patience that does not come easy to me. But it does come to me when I work at enough. So for now I will continue to work on my Step 10 which I have been doing, I will continue to do my work each day that I have been doing and I will continue to take care of myself in all the other ways that I need to do.
• Elijah @ 01/26/2010 ( 8:40:57 AM )
  Living life on life's terms is hard for me.
  
  Most of the time, I survey the situation at hand, and then decide how I will change it.
  
  I had a small glimpse, the other day, that if I would just begin accepting things rather than attempting to change them, I would gain so much energy and calm.
  
  Someone said in a meeting last night that they used to spend so much energy looking into the future and trying to figure out how to protect themselves from any harm, or from people trying to take advantage of them. I do this too and it takes so much energy and is very crazy-making.
  
  Recently, I've started saying the Serenity Prayer with a slightly modified first line:
  
  "God, grant me the ABILITY to LET GO of the things I can not change..."
  
  I don't know why, but saying it this way helps me right now.
  
  Today I will let go and let God.
• Ted N @ 02/03/2010 ( 12:17:09 AM )
  Living Life on Life’s terms – for me that means kind of rolling with the punches. Taking things as they come. Not trying to control everything and really just allowing what is supposed to happen to happen. In the past I always tried to control everything. I did not understand life’s terms. I wanted everything to be a certain way. It had to be my way, or it had to be the way I fantasized it should be. And if it was not that way I would sulk, or complain, or obsess, or act out, or drink, or drug, or etc….. Today I don’t have to do that. Today I can use the serenity prayer as my guide. I can let go of the things that I cannot change and it is very freeing. When I finally understood what the serenity prayer was about I felt free from the constraint of the control I tried to put on myself and others. It was a great feeling. It was less work. All I had to worry about was me and getting through the day. All I need to do now is just focus on what is the task at hand. I know that the outcome is out of my hands. And if something comes along that is not expected, I deal with it, process it and move on. That is living life on life’s terms and it is a good thing. So much better or me and so much better for everyone around me.
• Marty @ 03/22/2010 ( 8:05:11 PM )
  Thanks everyone for the wonderful shares "tonight". This is a fantastic meeting in a pocket on my iPhone! Yes. All of the above is me. Fighting through life. Bouncing from one high to the next not wanting to ever "come down". Afraid that it would all be misery loneliness and depression. Perhaps it was. But with help I am like the cat gradually coaxed down from the fragile slender banches that sway and threaten to snap, throwing me down like an inanimate plastic toy where I will break into shards of what I could have been.
  With this program I find that the ghosts of my past no longer need to haunt me. This way I had invented to help me tolerate the bullies, the priests grabbing me and the fact that i was this defective person with the wrong orientation no longer is useful. The "solution" has become the problem. These ghosts cannot win when I let go of trying to survive on my own and trust these sacred steps that have been traveled by so many before me who have found peace. That's what I want. And for the first time I believe I have found a way to get there!

• Out Of Bondage: Memoirs Of A Sex Addict