One of the sayings that flys around the rooms is this notion of gratitude. "Why would I even care?" would have been my first thought if I were in my addiction. Thank God I'm not. For today and just for today I can have an attitude of gratitude. That special spark of wonderment for all the things that keep my life in check. It is said that a grateful addict doesn't act out. I truly believe in this theory. My sponsor is forever stressing this quote and I can't thank him enough for reminding me just how important it is to be mindful of our gifts. I'm truly grateful for his words. What I get most out of being grateful for my gifts is the love I feel as I recite my gratitude list on a daily basis, at night, before I fall asleep. I recommend this process because it sends you off to bed with positive thoughts, a great big smile and a warm heart full of love. Try this process for thirty days and see if you can't shift your recovery to one of an attitude of gratitude. |
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Willing to go to any length, sure when I am feeling pretty good and pretty stable but in the middle of the night when I am blindsided my willingness to go to any length is tossed right out the window. A fellow has been asking me these last two months of relapse, "Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?" And each time very geniunly I reply, "Yes, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.... heavy sigh" hopeless demoralization and I act out yet again. So far I keep coming back but now I have a new different kind of shame, before my shame was hidden and eating me inside this time it is out in the wide open for my fellows in recovery to see.... She is not really sick and tired of being sick and tired... I am sick and I am very tired..... Ally
This is a small part of my own story. I am not in a wheelchair, I can do many things including walk. My slip is a reminder from God that my wife is a supportive friend and family. She is an angel that has forgiven me and trusts me to post this here while she is not with me. I am greatful for this trust and put it in the hands of my higher power that I will show gratitude for this trust.
Thank you for reading,
God love you.
Today I am grateful that I am still living in my house with my family. My wife is very angry, yet here I am. I am grateful for the fellows who look at me in group and offer their support. I am grateful that I have a sponsor who is willing to take time out of his day to help me with my disease, even though he has his own issues to handle. I am grateful for my therapists who have helped me along this path with many twists and turns. Without these I would not even be able to differentiate the addict from my true self.
As I look out the window, it is a beautiful sunny and cool day. I am grateful for the day. One day at a time.
I like the idea of a gratitude list. I know I have so much to be grateful for and the truth is, I'm really blessed, despite all my so-called "problems".
Being new in the program, one thing I'm having trouble with is remembering to use all the tools, of which gratitude is a big one.
Today I will be thankful for all the good things in my life.
How gratefull I am for my food and home, my family and friends, my job and paycheck, my recovery and fellowships, my higher power that gives me this healthy and peaceful day.
Today, as I exited I-95, a Iraq war vet with a prosthetic leg was panhandling. His sign said "Please help me, the Veterans Administration won't"! I openeded my window and handed him some money and felt an overwhelming attitude of gratiude. I am really blessed and need to keep in perspective "my problems". If I take them all (my problems), turn them into tennis balls and through them up in the air, I want to catch my own.
Thanks